There are all kinds of mothers in this world. For some people, it’s the person that raised them. For others, it’s a stepmom, grandmother, or perhaps an older sister. But motherhood isn’t always biological, and it doesn’t always happen under the same roof. Sometimes, it’s a stranger on the internet.
The online Reddit community r/MomForAMinute is dedicated to helping those in need a role model or maternal figure. “We are mother geese to our loving ducklings. When you need understanding, congratulations, praise, or advice from a mother figure, but don’t have one IRL able or willing to provide that for you, we are here for you,” the group’s description states. “We support you and love you unconditionally.”
Reddit user u/closingbelle volunteered to moderate the community after stumbling across the group nine years ago. “It felt like a genuine, positive, and welcoming space, and I wanted to protect that unique feel and make sure the supportive atmosphere was maintained going forward,” she tells Popsugar. Since then, the subreddit has grown from a few thousand weekly visitors to more than 41,000.
According to u/closingbelle, the group was originally inspired by the “Free Mom Hugs” movement often seen at Pride events and community gatherings. “We continue that tradition by offering free virtual hugs to anyone who needs one,” she says.
“Being a moderator for this sub has really helped me see the good in my fellow humans”
Beyond the free virtual hugs, though, r/MomForAMinute has evolved into something even bigger: it’s a place for community members to seek advice, share wins, and request “words from a mother,” which is what one Reddit user, who requested anonymity, was looking for. “I recently came out as trans, and the initial reaction from [my family] was tough,” they tell Popsugar. “I knew how kind and compassionate this community seemed to be, and I wanted to give it a chance.”
Hoping to receive a bit of hope from posting, the Reddit user says they got so much more than that. “It was overwhelmingly supportive and thoughtful — supportive in the sense that everyone took a moment to acknowledge how inevitably difficult this kind of change can be, but that it is rewarding and fulfilling if I put in the effort.”
Reddit user u/ascaffo had a similarly affirming experience: After her mother died from cancer three years ago, she found herself grieving while navigating major life moments. With her oldest son deployed overseas and youngest son engaged and buying his first home, all of these big events made her miss her mom. “My heart was bursting, and I wanted to share it with her,” she says. “I hesitantly went to r/MomForAMinute, and I just let [the words] flow.”
Searching for a message of kindness from someone who could relate, she was taken aback by the response. “It was as close as I was going to get to feeling like I had shared it with my mom,” she says. “A couple of responses even brought tears to my eyes. It was a cathartic exercise.”
Stories like these are exactly why u/closingbelle says moderating the subreddit feels so meaningful. “Being a moderator for this sub has really helped me see the good in my fellow humans, how the inherent possibility of positivity, proactively applied, can be the little change someone needed.”
This Mother’s Day, r/MomForAMinute serves as a reminder that motherhood isn’t always about who gave birth to you. Sometimes, it’s about who shows up for you. And for those who are active members or just hearing about the r/MomForAMinute community for the first time, it’s proof that maternal love can exist in all kinds of forms.
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Taylor Andrews (she/her) is the senior balance editor at PS, specializing in topics relating to sex, relationships, dating, sexual health, mental health, travel, and more. With eight years of editorial experience, Taylor has a strong background in content creation and storytelling. Prior to joining PS in 2021, she worked at Cosmopolitan.
